The Smell of Books

Well, here I am sitting upon my bed getting ready to read a new book I just bought. Yep, that’s right, I bought a book. The Life and Faith of Henry Eyring, Mormon Scientist. I was sitting upon my bed less than an hour ago pondering upon life and trying to figure out where I need to go and what I need to do when I had the sudden urge to walk through a book store. Not many know this and it is slightly strange I know because I am not much of a reader but I absolutely love walking around book stores more than any other stores there are. I think it is the atmosphere that is absolutely appealing, they are always so quiet and orderly, not to mention they have a distinct smell which I secretly love..weird. So, I often walk up and down the rows of books picking out a few and maybe reading a page or two than moving on to the next one that catches my eye. But this time I actually bought one, one I truly intend to read all the way through this time. I think I secretly have a deep seeded desire to read all sorts of books because I am attracted to them in every way I can think of. I think it is this person inside of me that I am yearning to be but am too blinded by the dubious rigmarole of life. I struggle with so many aspects of this world I live in. I love this world but I just can’t get it right. I don’t know how to live in it properly and make it work for me. I would like to think that my inner sincerity, regardless of my slow, improperly functioning body will eventually pay off one of these days. When everything just falls into place and is just right and I can continue unhindered to progress along this highway of life. I think now is a good time to admit that I truly do have a slight handicap. I’ve been trying to get people for years to believe that I have a mild speech impediment but alas I am also slightly slower than the regular folk. I think it has to do with years of not sleeping properly. All I know is most of the time I just want to put my head down and have someone pull my hair. It works great for headaches; just trust me on this one. I am what I am though and I truly would never want to be anyone else even though I wish I were better at certain things that I am not very good at. Well, my dear readers, thank you for your silent support and goodness. Any time I write it just feels good inside because I know that regardless of my exterior demons, I can write about goodness, and I truly hope I have touched someone by the things that I’ve written.

I, like everyone else just want to be happy. That’s all.