Just know I will...

I woke up this morning and I wanted to run, so I rolled out of bed, got down on the floor and meditated for a half hour. Then I ate a bowl of some generic strawberry flake cereal that I found in the far corners of my pantry and then I jogged to wal mart. I can’t say I’ve ever just ran just to run. I’ve hiked often but I really enjoyed this jogging thing. There is something about those types of activities that really put things into perspective and help the mind come to crisper conclusions. It’s true that I’m not sure I know why I do half of the things I do most of the time, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why other people do anything. I don’t mean I don’t know why people do things but I don’t understand why people do the specific things they choose to do. We are all just people and that’s why we simply can’t judge others. People will be people and that’s how it will always be so there is no point in making life harder by being judgmental and proud. We only live this life one day at a time and each day we can choose to do something great or just sit back and watch our dreams pass us by. There are things in this life worth being a little crazy for and worth stepping out and trying to snatch by maneuvering out of our bubble. Then there are other things that we want that simply aren’t worth our time that only blind us from having what it is that we truly desire. I feel sorry for the person who lets those most precious things slip out of their lives, because I know how it feels and I don’t want anybody to ever feel how I did. Nothing is worth losing a true happiness, but the saddest thing is so many of us only learn this lesson by losing it in the first place. I have always wondered if my prayers really do anything for those I pray for. I suppose they must because that’s why I pray. I pray for those I love, even those whom I’ll never see again. Maybe I shouldn’t though, but I only wonder who is to decide what is appropriate to say in a prayer. Who are we to pray for? I think it comes down to the very spirit itself which should decide. I believe there are literal angels that listen to our prayers and send help to those we desire to be safe and happy. I believe this because I know people have prayed for me and I’ve felt those angels in my life. If only I could be all the time worthy for those angels to guide me in the right direction and to touch my life so I can touch other’s lives in a similar fashion. I want so badly to simply be freed from all those things that drag me down. I really don’t want anything more than that because once I can feel that type of freedom then I’ll be able to receive all the blessings that Heavenly Father wishes me to have. How can I find my way in this world if the world has no way for me? How can I find those who are true if I follow those who aren’t? Why do I continue to choose things that hurt me? I only want what’s good and others should too. How can I pray for another to find peace when I myself am struggling with the same problem? I feel like I need to do something with this blog. There are so many things written here that only take me to a time I need to move on from. I’m not going to remove it but I will implement a password soon. Maybe one day I’ll open it up again for any who remember it. Though I know there have been some crazy things written here, for the most part this blog is who I am. It contains some of the most intimate parts of me and describes a life I so desire. The words are me because they come from my mind and heart. They are what I love, they are what I desire, they are what I believe to be good as far as I know what goodness is. Heaven knows who these words have reached because I certainly don’t but I believe they have reached some. I believe they have helped many through those few they have reached like a ripple which affects every other ripple around them. I’ll leave it open for about a week before I put a password on it for any who are wondering. Even though I’ll still have it I feel like I’m saying goodbye to… goodbye to someone, someone who might be out there that I’ve helped in some way or another. Just know I’ll continue to write because writing is what I have that consoles me. It sooths and helps me in every way there is. This is me, this is who I am, and even though I don’t like to stop something that’s good, good isn’t good enough when there is something better. Thank you everyone that I know who has helped me, because heaven knows I’ve needed help. I am grateful for everyone in my life and only wish the best for them. Goodbye my close friends. I love you all, goodbye.