That is the question

I wish I could run a wire from my brain to my computer so I could type out my dreams as I was having them. This idea only came because I am currently belly down on my bed with my feet hanging off of the side while my head is wrenched in what some might consider a very uncomfortable looking position so I can type with somewhat of a correct angled view of the screen. I was trying to find the ever dimming inspiration to write of something interesting when I simply laid my head down at the foot of my bed near my laptop when I started to dream. I promptly lifted my head to type it out but the dream was gone. It simply vanished from my thoughts when my eyes opened. Not vanished from my head, for, everything that comes from me originated in my head first, and whether these imaginings be turned to action or simply continue on forever as pure goings-on of thought my head is where these things shall reside and my body will be the physical conduit of the inevitable law of consequence. One would think that a soul could master this body of ours more easily than how we do. The concept is very simple. Get this body, make it work, and do good. Not only do good but do incredible things. I am perplexed at my own mental blocks. I know I have incredible potential to do nearly anything I truly desire to do. The same can be said for everyone, but what is it that is stopping me from doing these incredible things with my life? I believe that the majority of people simply don’t realize or understand how great their potential actually is, so, subsequently many don’t ever attain the greatest blessing they could. Though I know there is so much that I don’t know or understand, I on the other hand do know far too well that I am blest and have immense capabilities but yet I still squander and dabble with trivialities and frivolous matters that wholly surround every day. I suffer from not, not understanding my potential, but rather a fear of what I could accomplish, which I think is even a greater tragedy than not ever knowing in the first place. I have thought about this and I think I am naturally afraid of the responsibilities that might come from reaching my potential. I am faced with a difficult situation. I yearn to be free and explode in to that person whom my soul is desiring my body to be. But I sigh and think it is too difficult so I continue on knowingly living under my potential. But yet again I see that I am trying to justify and excuse myself in being lazy which is completely wrong. I know what is right and wrong and I see the very core reasons of why I choose to be so lackadaisical in my endeavors. It doesn’t come down to knowledge for me, it comes down to desire to act on that knowledge. I know the church is true, and I love the church with all of my heart but even yet still sometimes I find myself in the mornings lacking character and thinking to myself, it’s alright if I sleep in today and miss a good portion of church, or it all together. I justify the idea that I am too tired and I simply, in those moments lack desire to do what I know to be true. I find myself asking the very question Nephi asked, “Why should I?” Why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Why should I give way to temptation that the evil one have place to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? This question follows me around everywhere I go but sadly I still do yield to sin because of my flesh, and then in the midnight hour I sigh and forever ponder on my current status with my friends, my family, even my enemies, and lastly my God. I am not faced with a difficult decision, the decision is clear of who I desire to be, but I am faced with difficult moments in time that I should be able to see as exactly what they are, just moments in our earthly time, and what will my life time here on earth leave for everyone else when my time here is over? That is the question I ponder and pray on, that is the question.