The Lady from Belfromhoo

A shriek echoed loud through the warm air
Of an old town, this story I’ll share,
It was in a place that you never knew,
The strange old land of Belfromhoo!

A proud knight on a steed was galloping fast,
When he heard the screams of this bonny young lass,
He turned and he saw a frantic, strange man,
Swatting with a broom where the lass did stand.

The knight charged in on his gallant steed,
To save the lass whom terribly screamed
From the frantic man who looked a bit a mess,
And do as knights do with damsels in distress.

With one thrust of his sword he struck the man through!
The dastardly strange man from Belfromhoo,
Upon the grass the knight cleansed his sword,
And proudly walked toward his fair reward.

But when he approached what he thought would be,
A beautiful, grateful, fair lady,
He was surprised to behold she was shouting e’en more,
More than she had been ever before!

The knight was puzzled and without a clue
As he stood by the lady from Belfromhoo,
Who cursed him for doing the things that knights do,
He didn’t understand, but he was about to.

The lady shouted in Belfromhoo tongue,
“You shimmering, stale, fowl, pile of dung!”
Which translated means, “You stupid dingbat,
Next time you kill something, make sure it’s that rat!”

A big grey rat scurried away through the grass,
“That man was my husband you stupid jackass,
The last words he spoke before you struck him through,
Were, ‘no worries my love, I’ll get rid of that rat if it’s the last thing I do!'"

Now the moral of the story is quite simple at that,
Fair ladies scream like murder when confronting a rat,
So take that into consideration before striking a man through,
Especially in a strange land called Belfromhoo.

-Jacob Winterfeldt