Time for Business

It’s time to get down to business and start my life. I feel like a little child learning how to do everything over again because I feel like my life has just started. It’s almost like I don’t even remember a huge portion of my early existence in this world. So, I might feel a slight handicap because it seems like everyone else has already had years of experience. All I know is that I am where I am now and I’ve got to be as proactive as I possibly can in order to catch up. I’ve taken my epic journey and though I’m not sure I found out what it is that I am looking for it was definitely well needed and a good way to start off my new life. It’s like a breath of fresh air after you’ve been in a dark room under the earth for six months. I say so often that I only wish I was better at things but that time of wishing is over and the time of bringing to fruition those dreams is at hand. Though I am about twenty four years late I’ve got the rest of my life ahead of me to accomplish anything I desire, and I’ve a better idea now than ever before what it is that I do desire. I know what I believe is true and I believe in the principles of goodness. The principles of goodness works regardless of weaknesses and I know I can become who it is I’ve dreamt I will be with those principles. I only thank God for my family and friends who have looked at me and said to themselves, “Wow, Jake is kind of crazy and weird but I think he’s a good guy, I’ll help him out and give him a chance.” So I try my best to be friends with other crazy, weird people, because I relate to them.
I desire several things in my life, one is I desire to be educated, to know the world I live in and to know the hearts of the people I associate with. Another is a solid career in which I can make a decent living whilst being completely self sufficient. But I say the thing that I desire the very most is something I had when I was a little child, a goodness that you mostly only see in children. I lost that somewhere a long time ago and those others things that I’ve said I desire became useless to me because I didn’t have the very most important thing there is. I became cold and depressed and totally miserable with living and so I lost everything important to me there was, the church, best friends and family, a general health and well being and almost my life, but most damningly I lost simply a desire for anything good or a desire to do anything for that matter. How can you recover from this type of hell? It was a hell for me and I wanted to die. But I love life now, I love this world as well, and though I’ve struggled with being absolutely negative in general toward other people, I love people. People are what make other people happy, not things. So when I say I feel like a little child I am totally alright with it because it’s what makes me feel alright inside. I was looking for a miracle and I got one, I got a ton. And I’ll be outright expressive about this when I say I am a selfish person because I still need more miracles to help me out through my upcoming journeys. The only thing different now is I know how miracles work and I know how they come about which gives me an absolute confidence in the future. I am grateful and I am true in my heart. My goal is to be more on the outside the things that I write which come from inside. Basically act more like how I write, and if I can do this I’ll always be alright no matter what.